President Donald Trump declared when running for president that he would support the LGBTQ community and be an ally. On June 14, 2016 he tweeted thanking the LGBT community and reminding us (LGBT community) he will fight for us! Well he has has lied to us once again.

He has tweeted out on July 26, 2017 that he will not allow or accept Transgendered individuals to serve in any capacity of the US Military. By doing this, this will be discharging 15,000+ active military service members in the US Military.

We as Americans must stand together against our bigoted president and let him know that we can not allow him to dismantle our rights and freedoms.

National Sibling Day

Well hell I seen my brother shared a post on Facebook today about National Sibling Day and mentioned his two sisters and his non blood siblings and nothing about me or his other brothers. When I seen that, it just hurt me. My heart had just dropped and has made my depression coke back into play today as I was feeling pretty good today for the first time in a couple of weeks.

You know what yea we have our differences on so many things that we barely relate to anything at all but we are still siblings. He couldn't even acknowledge me and that's what hurts me the most. This is the first time that he has ever done this. I'm gonna try and not let this get to me but I guess it is what it is. Life must go on.

Iroquois Memorial Hospital

Well I ended up having to take my grandma to the emergency room the other night and all I can say is that it wasn’t a very pleasant trip there, but what trip to the emergency room is pleasant. This time was complete disgust.

The emergency room was full of mosquitoes, june bugs, and my grandma even had a bug (roach looking bug) crawling on her bed that I ended up killing. The patient next to her ended up signing an AMA as she left the emergency as she was being treated and taken care of she she should’ve been. The staff in the emergency room including the physcian was very rude and slow. I could see them being slow if they were busy, as it was the emergency room, but the only patients in there was my grandma and the patiend that ended up leaving against medical advice.

The emergency room physician ended up making the decision of having my grandmother admitted into the hospital for obsersation, but the doctor never told us it was the nurse that came and told us. The doctor never told us any of the test results from the tests that were ordered as it was the nurse that did, and per hospital policy it is the doctors (or attendings) job to provide us with the results. When we were notified that grandma was being admitted, doctor hadn’t even put in the order for the admission and we were told at 2am that she was being admitted. My grandma finally told us to go home around 3:30am so that we could get some as she would be getting in her room soon. Well We ended up going home around 4am and she still hadn’t been moved to her room yet. When I went to see grandma during the day, to see if she was being discharged she let us know she didn’t get into a room until around 530 in the morning when the doctor finally put in the order. So my grandma ended up having to stay in the emergency room  the entire time.

I can say that this will be the last time she ends up at Iroquois Memorial Hospital Emergency Department, for now on, I will take her to Carle Hospital.

Pissed Off

I love how people accuse me of some complete bullshit when I have had nothing to do with it completely. I get told that I’ve been acting wierd as fuck the past couple days and some other shit. I got news for ya, I haven’t been acting wierd or anything, if anyone has been it has been you. You say one thing and 5 minutes later you do the exact opposite. You say your not going to do something ever again and then do it again. You say that I’m the liar and that you have caught me in several different lies, well you know what I have you caught you in more lies that I have ever seen anyone tell.

Today you text me being a complete asshole, and saying that you bm is texting you wanting to know why im telling everyone we’re lovers and that you are 1000% for sure that I’m the one telling this. Well I got news for ya I haven’t told anyone shit and I’m getting tired of being accused of something that I didn’t fucking do. You can’t take any jokes at all because you get so offensive. Everyone that I talk to and hang out with can joke and take jokes over anything. I say that I just won’t talk anymore and you get even more pissed off/irritated. Well you know what I have been the one that has been getting irritated from hell from all of the lies that you have told and not just to me. If we were “lovers” then why in the hell am I trying to hook you up with someone and telling them how great a person you are. But what do I know, absolutely nothing I guess.

Then you get bent out of shape because of a facebook status, about me of me wanting to commit myself back into the hospital. Here lately everyone has been pissing me off, but I’ve been holding it in and defending everything that has been said. But yet, I’m the one thats being sketchy as fuck and acting wierd. But what the fuck do I know, apparently nothing.


Well today is one of those fucking days that is aggravating me. I was on my way to Kankakee with my mom, niece and a friend to do some shopping and my fucking crank shaft pulley shattered. So we were stranded on the road until my brother and his girlfriend came and there was only enough room in the car for my mom and niece and me and my buddy had to stay and wait for them and the tow to come and get us and the car. So I was stranded for 4-6 hours. Today just fucking sucked. One of my worst days ever. It don’t help my depression either with this stress. Makes me want to curl up in my bed and not think about anything. My mind is racing 90 to nothing more than ever. So here’s to a shitty ass day with more to come (I have that feeling).


You know religion don’t really come out of my mouth nor do I really talk about religion. Tonight I had someone ask me about our holy spirit, GOD, and how he was created. I didn’t have those answers to her questions. People say that I am not spiritual, but when in reality, I am. I do believe in God and our Savior Jesus Christ. I worship them everyday in the privacy of my own home. I do not like to push religion on others as some people don’t like it to be pushed.

One reason I don’t like to talk about religion

Meeting People

I can say that I am a very shy person, so when it comes to meeting people, it is something that is hard for me to do. I sometimes schedule the meet up/hookup and then cancel it because of my shyness. I don’t have issues with talking to them via text message. One thing that I do not like to do is talk on the phone. If you want me just text me you’ll get a better response out of me by texting me than you will by calling me. 99% of the time when you call me, I will either ignore the phone call or press the F-U button and send you to voicemail.

I don’t meet anyone at my house for my safety and everyone else’s safety that I live with. I will meet you somewhere else instead of my place. Once I get to know you better I will meet you at my place but until then I ain’t meeting anyone at my house.

I went out the other night with someone I met, and heard all kinds of shit from my family over it. I didn’t take my car, we took their car, and went out to the movies and had dinner and hung out until bout 4 in the morning. They didn’t like the fact that I didn’t take my car. But you know what, I have faith in humanity and I have other means to get home if they would’ve just up and left me somewhere. I knew the city we were in and I had my phone as well as some cash if I needed. I do take my safety into consideration but how else are you supposed to meet other people if you can’t have trust in someone. You need to have some form of trust when meeting someone new.


Sometimes people just need breaks from doing things on their normal day to day schedule. The past couple of days I have just stayed home and turned my phone off so that I could have a break from everything. Sometimes I just wish people would understand that but they don’t and instead when I power my phone back up I have 50 million different texts and phone calls that I missed. I haven’t felt like really doing anything which I get into these moods sometimes and I blame it on my bipolar disorder most of the time. I don’t think it had anything to do with my bipolar this time as I was still active, just didn’t want to leave or do anything. I think I’m going to start taking breaks more like this in the future because I am more energized than ever. The only downfall to this is, that people get pissed at me because I go silent for an extended amount of time. But you know what, I don’t care anymore and if they have a problem with that they can just get the fuck over it as it is my life and I need breaks to. These breaks also gives me time to look for jobs so that I can do something with my life instead of sitting at home and doing nothing and have nothing.