Besties

I can say that I have found me a new best friend and the best thing is that he is gay also. I now have someone that I can relate to and we can just kick it and have fun and I can be myself all the time whenever I want when I am hanging with him unlike my other friends I can’t, or when I am they can’t relate to everything that I am going through or understand anything haha lol.

 

I’m just glad that I am not the only gay guy around here now and is close to where I live and we get to kick it almost all the time haha lol. Thank god for best friends.

Advertisements

Another Rant

Well I can say that I am fed up with everything, and I am looking for another place to live and no one is going to be coming with me. Hopefully by the end of November, I will have found me a suitable place for me away from all of the bullshit that I am around 24/7.

I’m to the point to where I don’t even want to be awake anymore. I force myself to sleep all the time if I’m not out doing something with friends having my me time, as I have no feeling when I’m at “home”. I’m the one that buys the groceries around here, and people can’t even keep the kitchen clean so that I or my mother can cook. They would rather soak up the A/C and eat up the food that I buy all at once. Hell its bad when you have to hide food because people love to eat it all up at once, but it does no good to hide it because they come in your room when your sleeping and snoop and find it, but your not allowed in their room, even though they don’t pay the rent. I’m just fed up with everything here.

I’m to the point where I would rather kill myself if I can’t make myself sleep. When you feelings like this, its best to say fuck it and find somewhere else to live and leave everything behind. I know I have a few city locations I have chosen of where to live, and they include Indianapolis and Champaign-Urbana and a few others, but preferrably Indianapolis as it is on of the furthest cities away from where I am currently, and I won’t have a reason to come back as it will be too far of a drive but not to far if there’s an emergency.

I’m just tired and about to give up on everything, and by moving, this would be the best option for me that I have left, I am currently looking at 3 bedrooms, that way if my mom wants to come and the guy I take care of that currently lives with me, wants to come they can but if they choose that they don’t wanna come with me, then I will narrow my choices down to 1-2 bedrooms, preferrably 2 then, that way I have a guest bedroom for whoever wants to come and stay. I DO NOT want a studio apartment, as that is just way too fucking small for me, as I like space, and that is something that I want and need. But I still have aobut two months before anything, So, I still have time to explore my options of what I want to rent and the location of what I want to call home.

#ProtectTransTroops

President Donald Trump declared when running for president that he would support the LGBTQ community and be an ally. On June 14, 2016 he tweeted thanking the LGBT community and reminding us (LGBT community) he will fight for us! Well he has has lied to us once again.

He has tweeted out on July 26, 2017 that he will not allow or accept Transgendered individuals to serve in any capacity of the US Military. By doing this, this will be discharging 15,000+ active military service members in the US Military.

We as Americans must stand together against our bigoted president and let him know that we can not allow him to dismantle our rights and freedoms.

National Sibling Day

Well hell I seen my brother shared a post on Facebook today about National Sibling Day and mentioned his two sisters and his non blood siblings and nothing about me or his other brothers. When I seen that, it just hurt me. My heart had just dropped and has made my depression coke back into play today as I was feeling pretty good today for the first time in a couple of weeks.

You know what yea we have our differences on so many things that we barely relate to anything at all but we are still siblings. He couldn't even acknowledge me and that's what hurts me the most. This is the first time that he has ever done this. I'm gonna try and not let this get to me but I guess it is what it is. Life must go on.

Iroquois Memorial Hospital

Well I ended up having to take my grandma to the emergency room the other night and all I can say is that it wasn’t a very pleasant trip there, but what trip to the emergency room is pleasant. This time was complete disgust.

The emergency room was full of mosquitoes, june bugs, and my grandma even had a bug (roach looking bug) crawling on her bed that I ended up killing. The patient next to her ended up signing an AMA as she left the emergency as she was being treated and taken care of she she should’ve been. The staff in the emergency room including the physcian was very rude and slow. I could see them being slow if they were busy, as it was the emergency room, but the only patients in there was my grandma and the patiend that ended up leaving against medical advice.

The emergency room physician ended up making the decision of having my grandmother admitted into the hospital for obsersation, but the doctor never told us it was the nurse that came and told us. The doctor never told us any of the test results from the tests that were ordered as it was the nurse that did, and per hospital policy it is the doctors (or attendings) job to provide us with the results. When we were notified that grandma was being admitted, doctor hadn’t even put in the order for the admission and we were told at 2am that she was being admitted. My grandma finally told us to go home around 3:30am so that we could get some as she would be getting in her room soon. Well We ended up going home around 4am and she still hadn’t been moved to her room yet. When I went to see grandma during the day, to see if she was being discharged she let us know she didn’t get into a room until around 530 in the morning when the doctor finally put in the order. So my grandma ended up having to stay in the emergency room  the entire time.

I can say that this will be the last time she ends up at Iroquois Memorial Hospital Emergency Department, for now on, I will take her to Carle Hospital.

Pissed Off

I love how people accuse me of some complete bullshit when I have had nothing to do with it completely. I get told that I’ve been acting wierd as fuck the past couple days and some other shit. I got news for ya, I haven’t been acting wierd or anything, if anyone has been it has been you. You say one thing and 5 minutes later you do the exact opposite. You say your not going to do something ever again and then do it again. You say that I’m the liar and that you have caught me in several different lies, well you know what I have you caught you in more lies that I have ever seen anyone tell.

Today you text me being a complete asshole, and saying that you bm is texting you wanting to know why im telling everyone we’re lovers and that you are 1000% for sure that I’m the one telling this. Well I got news for ya I haven’t told anyone shit and I’m getting tired of being accused of something that I didn’t fucking do. You can’t take any jokes at all because you get so offensive. Everyone that I talk to and hang out with can joke and take jokes over anything. I say that I just won’t talk anymore and you get even more pissed off/irritated. Well you know what I have been the one that has been getting irritated from hell from all of the lies that you have told and not just to me. If we were “lovers” then why in the hell am I trying to hook you up with someone and telling them how great a person you are. But what do I know, absolutely nothing I guess.

Then you get bent out of shape because of a facebook status, about me of me wanting to commit myself back into the hospital. Here lately everyone has been pissing me off, but I’ve been holding it in and defending everything that has been said. But yet, I’m the one thats being sketchy as fuck and acting wierd. But what the fuck do I know, apparently nothing.

Aggravation

Well today is one of those fucking days that is aggravating me. I was on my way to Kankakee with my mom, niece and a friend to do some shopping and my fucking crank shaft pulley shattered. So we were stranded on the road until my brother and his girlfriend came and there was only enough room in the car for my mom and niece and me and my buddy had to stay and wait for them and the tow to come and get us and the car. So I was stranded for 4-6 hours. Today just fucking sucked. One of my worst days ever. It don’t help my depression either with this stress. Makes me want to curl up in my bed and not think about anything. My mind is racing 90 to nothing more than ever. So here’s to a shitty ass day with more to come (I have that feeling).

Religion

You know religion don’t really come out of my mouth nor do I really talk about religion. Tonight I had someone ask me about our holy spirit, GOD, and how he was created. I didn’t have those answers to her questions. People say that I am not spiritual, but when in reality, I am. I do believe in God and our Savior Jesus Christ. I worship them everyday in the privacy of my own home. I do not like to push religion on others as some people don’t like it to be pushed.

One reason I don’t like to talk about religion