I can say that there’s gonna be a new me. I’m tired of the same old me. Someone that is completely boring and predictive at what I do and am.
I have examined who I am and who I want to be. I am someone who cares, respects, and treats others with the same quality. I want to remove the negativity from my life and introduce positivity into my life.
There are things that I know I am going to have to change in order to recreate myself into who I want to be and who I should be.
One thing I am going to have to change is my role in my life. I am/used to be the type that would follow in others footsteps and do what they want/ed. Now I have to and want to change that perspective and be a leader. I want to be the person that people look up to. I want to lead the charge. This is the first thing that has to be done first before I can change everything else in my life.
So here’s to a new beginning and outlook on life.
Well on February 07, 2018 of this year I had to go and talk to mine and my mothers primary care provider about elder abuse. My elder brother and his girlfriend that lives with us, has started abusing my mother verbally and threatened with physical abuse. They had shut the heat off (as its 20 degrees outside) and informed my mother and the other elder that lives with us that I take care of that no one is to use the water nor will there be any heat and that if someone touches the thermostat that she (Tonya) will break their fingers.
I had no choice and didn’t know what else to do, So I went to our primary provider as I know she is a mandated reporter for suspected elder abuse. I informed her of what was going on and she advised me that she has had enough and that she would be making the report for Adult Protective Services to come in and investigate. About an hour later Nancy from APS called me and informed me that she would be on her way to do a surprise visit and to not let anyone in the house know that she was on the way.
After Nancy arrived she noticed for herself that the thermostat was shut off and the temperature in the house was 65 degrees and she became even more concern. After she made a comment to my mom about the temperature in the house, Tonya decided to state that we could access the heat and turn it on and that she had no problems. Tonya had an incling that I had turned her into elder services and informed me that I can’t turn her in for elder abuse. Well I got news for her, I didn’t have to as out primary did.
The heat ended up getting turned back on and permission was given for us to use the water. They (Lawrence & Tonya) was also informed that they can not retaliate against any of us and that if they did, there would be criminal charges filed against them.
Nancy called me the following day for a check up on everything since her visit and I told her everything was ok so far. She then wanted to speak to my mother for confirmation and mom told her the same. If it wasn’t for Adult Protective Services and our Primary Provider I don’t know what where we would be at this point and I thank them for the assistance and much gratitude for what they do to help their patients and the elderly.
I’m tired of hate and belligerence and negativity being thrown around. We all have sadness to some extent in our lives without others needing to pile on it. I want to strive to be the best me I can be. The happiest me I can be. The most successful me I can be. The kindest I can be. But also the strongest me.
Well, I can say that this week was week one of my suspension and then next week will be week two for my suspension out of my group counseling that I have. I don’t really understand the grounds for suspending me as my attendance record was supposed to be reset as it was after the first of the year and my other three absences were from 2017. According to the contract that I signed the set the rules for the group, was that you are allowed three (3) absences per year whether excused or unexcused. Also according to the contract that I signed stated that the attendance record gets reset every year. I can say that while on my suspension that I lot has happened so far. I have finally found my condo that I want in the Chicago area. I put an offer on it back in December and it was accepted and I am closing on it next week. Although I am closing on it next week, I will not be moving in for a little while, as I have also hired an interior designer to come in and spruce it all up. There are a couple of things that I want to be changed in the layout as I want an open concept floor plan and I have already gotten approval from my HOA for this process. The details that I want in it and the reconfiguration that I am having done I will not be able to move in it until sometime in March 2018 and at the latest April 2018.
I do have to say that with this suspension, that it has given me a lot more time to invest in myself and in my future. I believe that at this point in time this is the best option for me to start my life new and from a fresh beginning. I have been able to spend more time in Chicago exploring parts of the City that I have never gotten to experience in my life. There are so many different things in the Chicago area that I am have never seen nor done and can say that I am finally experiencing it all. I have gone to a couple of clubs this past week met a few people and made a couple friends.
All I know is that tonight was traumatic and full of drama from the moment I walked outside of group in Paxton. I ended up getting in my car and it is pitch black out as its 5:00pm at night and there are no lights in the parking lot. Once I got in my car and backed out of my parking spot I was in, someone came up tapping on my passenger side window and I thought it was someone in my group coming over before I left to see if they could bum a smoke or something, and when I went to roll down the window I hit the unlock button instead of the window button and he jumped in my car and told me to fucking drive. I got to the entrance/exit of the parking lot and there was a car blocking part of the driveway and I told him I couldn’t go anywhere because of the car being in my way and he told me to fucking go around. I did as I was told to do by him and then he asked me if I had a screwdriver in my car and I said nope even though in reality I probably did haha. As I was driving over the overpass by the car dealership so I could come into Paxton, he wanted to go to the dealership so that he could just steal a car from there, but then he changed his mind because the dealership was closed. Therefore he told me to go to Casey’s and wanted me to drive around the parking lot so that he could see if any of the vehicles had their keys in them so that he could steal one of them. I sure in the hell didn’t do that. I went straight to the front door of the Casey’s and went in and when I got out of my car, I made sure I had my keys and then made sure my car was all locked up. I went in and asked the cashier to please call 911 and I proceeded to tell her why when she asked me why, and an old lady came in the store all frantic as the guy that hi-jacked me had shoved her around and was in her car and took cash from her purse and was trying to steal her car but the idiot couldn’t because he couldn’t figure out how to start the car. There was a guy in the store that went out there and ended up tackling him to the ground once he got him out of the older lady’s vehicle. In the process of tackling him, he ended up bashing the suspects head into the concrete pole that is around the gas pumps. The guy had him pinned down until Paxton Police arrived, which was Sgt. Yates. Eventually Sgt. Yates paged for an ambulance to evaluate him and transport to the hospital for injuries sustained. While the EMTs were evaluating the suspect they dispatched another ambulance to the scene for the older lady as she has a heart condition just so that she can get checked out and nothing is wrong with her. Sgt. Yates ended up having me fill out a police report and it was Officer Stafford that brought me the report and directed me to fill it out to the best of my ability describing everything in detail as if they could see everything how it all turned out to be in my words. I got it all filled out and gave it to Officer Stafford and then I was released to leave and head home. This I can say was a scary sight from hell that I had to deal with.
Anymore I just don’t understand people. I have been hearing some depressing news about a best friend that I have distanced myself from due to their drug use, but that is their business. I’ve been told my this friend is so messed up that I wouldn’t even recognize them if I saw them in public because all they are is skin covering bone. I wish there was something that I could do but there isn’t, and I know they won’t listen to me or anything because trust me, I have tried before on several occasions and it didn’t work and they wouldn’t listen. It just breaks my heart to hear these things that I am hearing.
Then I hear about another friend but more of an acquaintance than a friend, and they are hard up on the drugs as well. People have bets on their lives on who is going to overdose first and die from it.
I can’t wrap my head around it, how anyone can bet on someone’s life little lone on two lives and which one is gonna die first. What has this world come too. This is just way too much. Lives do matter, even if they have addictions. A lot of people think that by sending these addicts to prison they will get the rehab that they need. You know what, that don’t happen. The drugs are in the prisons just as much as they are on the streets. The prisons are corrupt with guards trafficking it in, so how is that helping. All it is doing is wasteing taxpayers dollars to imprison someone when our own justice system keeps feeding it them. Not everything is going to be perfect, I get that, I truly do. We need more help and education. Especially the education, because you know I didn’t know anything about meth or anything of the like. All I knew about meth was you could loose weight from it, and herion you used a needle for. That was all I knew about it. I wasn’t educated on the harsh reactions these hard drugs could do to your body. I can say that I have been clean for 7 months from meth and marijuana and have never done any other drug. The only help I got to get me clean, was jail. It was a wake up call for me, I do know that.
There’s needs to be more help out there for people with drug addictions, and more in-patient rehab facilities available. Especially in the rural communities like the one that I live in and have grown up in. People say the reason we don’t have the help or facilities in our rural communities is because of politics. I can’t just blame the politics on it. Yes, politics does have some to do with it but not all of it. There isn’t enough trained professionals in our areas to have these places. We don’t have the income median either.
We need to come together as a community, a state, and a country and help each other when we need it. Just because someone uses drugs, doesn’t mean you get the right to bet on their life of when their gonna die. How would you feel if someone done that to you or one of your children, grandkids, nieces or nephews, etc. You sure as hell woud be pissed off, because I know I would.
Well I can say that I am officially back on #TeamiPhone after a short hiatus (5 months). I can say that I am so glad that I am glad that I am back with my iPhone. I have been so lost without having an iPhone. I was using an Android phone and I can say that it totally sucked ass and didn’t have any of the features that I came to love that Apple offers. I can say that I won’t ever go back to Android and will stick to iPhone and everything Apple.