Health, Life, Medical, Quotes

I destroy homes…

I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start. I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold, and if you need me, remember I’m easily found. I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul. When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms. You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends. I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I’ll be with you always, right by your side. You’ll give up everything your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone. I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I’m finished with you you’ll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane. I’ll ravish your body; I’ll control your mind. I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me, But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I’ll be your master; you will be my slave, I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

~ Unknown ~

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Certain People, Family, Health, Life, Medical

Adult Protective Services

Well on February 07, 2018 of this year I had to go and talk to mine and my mothers primary care provider about elder abuse. My elder brother and his girlfriend that lives with us, has started abusing my mother verbally and threatened with physical abuse. They had shut the heat off (as its 20 degrees outside) and informed my mother and the other elder that lives with us that I take care of that no one is to use the water nor will there be any heat and that if someone touches the thermostat that she (Tonya) will break their fingers.

I had no choice and didn’t know what else to do, So I went to our primary provider as I know she is a mandated reporter for suspected elder abuse. I informed her of what was going on and she advised me that she has had enough and that she would be making the report for Adult Protective Services to come in and investigate. About an hour later Nancy from APS called me and informed me that she would be on her way to do a surprise visit and to not let anyone in the house know that she was on the way.

After Nancy arrived she noticed for herself that the thermostat was shut off and the temperature in the house was 65 degrees and she became even more concern. After she made a comment to my mom about the temperature in the house, Tonya decided to state that we could access the heat and turn it on and that she had no problems. Tonya had an incling that I had turned her into elder services and informed me that I can’t turn her in for elder abuse. Well I got news for her, I didn’t have to as out primary did.

The heat ended up getting turned back on and permission was given for us to use the water. They (Lawrence & Tonya) was also informed that they can not retaliate against any of us and that if they did, there would be criminal charges filed against them.

Nancy called me the following day for a check up on everything since her visit and I told her everything was ok so far. She then wanted to speak to my mother for confirmation and mom told her the same. If it wasn’t for Adult Protective Services and our Primary Provider I don’t know what where we would be at this point and I thank them for the assistance and much gratitude for what they do to help their patients and the elderly.

Life, Moods, Paxton

I Was Hi-Jacked

All I know is that tonight was traumatic and full of drama from the moment I walked outside of group in Paxton. I ended up getting in my car and it is pitch black out as its 5:00pm at night and there are no lights in the parking lot. Once I got in my car and backed out of my parking spot I was in, someone came up tapping on my passenger side window and I thought it was someone in my group coming over before I left to see if they could bum a smoke or something, and when I went to roll down the window I hit the unlock button instead of the window button and he jumped in my car and told me to fucking drive. I got to the entrance/exit of the parking lot and there was a car blocking part of the driveway and I told him I couldn’t go anywhere because of the car being in my way and he told me to fucking go around. I did as I was told to do by him and then he asked me if I had a screwdriver in my car and I said nope even though in reality I probably did haha. As I was driving over the overpass by the car dealership so I could come into Paxton, he wanted to go to the dealership so that he could just steal a car from there, but then he changed his mind because the dealership was closed. Therefore he told me to go to Casey’s and wanted me to drive around the parking lot so that he could see if any of the vehicles had their keys in them so that he could steal one of them. I sure in the hell didn’t do that. I went straight to the front door of the Casey’s and went in and when I got out of my car, I made sure I had my keys and then made sure my car was all locked up. I went in and asked the cashier to please call 911 and I proceeded to tell her why when she asked me why, and an old lady came in the store all frantic as the guy that hi-jacked me had shoved her around and was in her car and took cash from her purse and was trying to steal her car but the idiot couldn’t because he couldn’t figure out how to start the car. There was a guy in the store that went out there and ended up tackling him to the ground once he got him out of the older lady’s vehicle. In the process of tackling him, he ended up bashing the suspects head into the concrete pole that is around the gas pumps. The guy had him pinned down until Paxton Police arrived, which was Sgt. Yates. Eventually Sgt. Yates paged for an ambulance to evaluate him and transport to the hospital for injuries sustained. While the EMTs were evaluating the suspect they dispatched another ambulance to the scene for the older lady as she has a heart condition just so that she can get checked out and nothing is wrong with her. Sgt. Yates ended up having me fill out a police report and it was Officer Stafford that brought me the report and directed me to fill it out to the best of my ability describing everything in detail as if they could see everything how it all turned out to be in my words. I got it all filled out and gave it to Officer Stafford and then I was released to leave and head home. This I can say was a scary sight from hell that I had to deal with.

http://www.news-gazette.com/news/local/2017-12-26/parolee-held-several-charges-attempted-carjackings-paxton.html

Family, Moods, Opinions, Uncategorized

Another Rant

Well I can say that I am fed up with everything, and I am looking for another place to live and no one is going to be coming with me. Hopefully by the end of November, I will have found me a suitable place for me away from all of the bullshit that I am around 24/7.

I’m to the point to where I don’t even want to be awake anymore. I force myself to sleep all the time if I’m not out doing something with friends having my me time, as I have no feeling when I’m at “home”. I’m the one that buys the groceries around here, and people can’t even keep the kitchen clean so that I or my mother can cook. They would rather soak up the A/C and eat up the food that I buy all at once. Hell its bad when you have to hide food because people love to eat it all up at once, but it does no good to hide it because they come in your room when your sleeping and snoop and find it, but your not allowed in their room, even though they don’t pay the rent. I’m just fed up with everything here.

I’m to the point where I would rather kill myself if I can’t make myself sleep. When you feelings like this, its best to say fuck it and find somewhere else to live and leave everything behind. I know I have a few city locations I have chosen of where to live, and they include Indianapolis and Champaign-Urbana and a few others, but preferrably Indianapolis as it is on of the furthest cities away from where I am currently, and I won’t have a reason to come back as it will be too far of a drive but not to far if there’s an emergency.

I’m just tired and about to give up on everything, and by moving, this would be the best option for me that I have left, I am currently looking at 3 bedrooms, that way if my mom wants to come and the guy I take care of that currently lives with me, wants to come they can but if they choose that they don’t wanna come with me, then I will narrow my choices down to 1-2 bedrooms, preferrably 2 then, that way I have a guest bedroom for whoever wants to come and stay. I DO NOT want a studio apartment, as that is just way too fucking small for me, as I like space, and that is something that I want and need. But I still have aobut two months before anything, So, I still have time to explore my options of what I want to rent and the location of what I want to call home.

Family, Moods, Opinions

Grow Up

People need to just grow the fuck up and get over themselves. I have my niece here for the day and her so-called grandmother is bein a total bitch to her for no reason. Just because she don’t want her around someone. I could understand her point if this person done something but he hasn’t done anything, as he would do anything in the world for my 4 year old neice. All she wanted was to be in the living room with me and him but that was a NO. Each time she tried to come into the living room she would get yelled and told she could only be in the kitchen. How can you “lock up” a child in the kitchen, all because you want to be a bitch. I got news for you this isn’t going to keep happening because my mouth is getting ready to open up and people aren’t going to like what I have to say and what I’m going to do. What’s the worse that she can do, call my probation officer? Big deal, because he already knows whats going on in my house because I tell him all the time and email him constantly letting him know what is going on as he wants to know what is going on in my life. He knows the dynamics that I am living with and have to deal with on a daily basis and they have tried to fuck me over before and succeeded but this time it isn’t gonna happen.

So since she won’t let my niece come into the living room and watch tv and be a kid, I am sitting in the kitchen with her while I’m writing this, and watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas with her so that she can enjoy her movies since she can’t in the living room on my smart tv.

Depression, Life, Moods

Humanity & Compassion

Anymore I just don’t understand people. I have been hearing some depressing news about a best friend that I have distanced myself from due to their drug use, but that is their business. I’ve been told my this friend is so messed up that I wouldn’t even recognize them if I saw them in public because all they are is skin covering bone. I wish there was something that I could do but there isn’t, and I know they won’t listen to me or anything because trust me, I have tried before on several occasions and it didn’t work and they wouldn’t listen. It just breaks my heart to hear these things that I am hearing.

Then I hear about another friend but more of an acquaintance than a friend, and they are hard up on the drugs as well. People have bets on their lives on who is going to overdose first and die from it.

I can’t wrap my head around it, how anyone can bet on someone’s life little lone on two lives and which one is gonna die first. What has this world come too. This is just way too much. Lives do matter, even if they have addictions. A lot of people think that by sending these addicts to prison they will get the rehab that they need. You know what, that don’t happen. The drugs are in the prisons just as much as they are on the streets. The prisons are corrupt with guards trafficking it in, so how is that helping. All it is doing is wasteing taxpayers dollars to imprison someone when our own justice system keeps feeding it them. Not everything is going to be perfect, I get that, I truly do. We need more help and education. Especially the education, because you know I didn’t know anything about meth or anything of the like. All I knew about meth was you could loose weight from it, and herion you used a needle for. That was all I knew about it. I wasn’t educated on the harsh reactions these hard drugs could do to your body. I can say that I have been clean for 7 months from meth and marijuana and have never done any other drug. The only help I got to get me clean, was jail. It was a wake up call for me, I do know that.

There’s needs to be more help out there for people with drug addictions, and more in-patient rehab facilities available. Especially in the rural communities like the one that I live in and have grown up in. People say the reason we don’t have the help or facilities in our rural communities is because of politics. I can’t just blame the politics on it. Yes, politics does have some to do with it but not all of it. There isn’t enough trained professionals in our areas to have these places. We don’t have the income median either.

We need to come together as a community, a state, and a country and help each other when we need it. Just because someone uses drugs, doesn’t mean you get the right to bet on their life of when their gonna die. How would you feel if someone done that to you or one of your children, grandkids, nieces or nephews, etc. You sure as hell woud be pissed off, because I know I would.

Health, Uncategorized

Iroquois Memorial Hospital

Well I ended up having to take my grandma to the emergency room the other night and all I can say is that it wasn’t a very pleasant trip there, but what trip to the emergency room is pleasant. This time was complete disgust.

The emergency room was full of mosquitoes, june bugs, and my grandma even had a bug (roach looking bug) crawling on her bed that I ended up killing. The patient next to her ended up signing an AMA as she left the emergency as she was being treated and taken care of she she should’ve been. The staff in the emergency room including the physcian was very rude and slow. I could see them being slow if they were busy, as it was the emergency room, but the only patients in there was my grandma and the patiend that ended up leaving against medical advice.

The emergency room physician ended up making the decision of having my grandmother admitted into the hospital for obsersation, but the doctor never told us it was the nurse that came and told us. The doctor never told us any of the test results from the tests that were ordered as it was the nurse that did, and per hospital policy it is the doctors (or attendings) job to provide us with the results. When we were notified that grandma was being admitted, doctor hadn’t even put in the order for the admission and we were told at 2am that she was being admitted. My grandma finally told us to go home around 3:30am so that we could get some as she would be getting in her room soon. Well We ended up going home around 4am and she still hadn’t been moved to her room yet. When I went to see grandma during the day, to see if she was being discharged she let us know she didn’t get into a room until around 530 in the morning when the doctor finally put in the order. So my grandma ended up having to stay in the emergency room  the entire time.

I can say that this will be the last time she ends up at Iroquois Memorial Hospital Emergency Department, for now on, I will take her to Carle Hospital.